Yesterday was the dreaded Valentine's day. Joe was gone so that was even less reason for me to be excited for it. But I made myself go out and I ended up being glad I did.
My church put on a Valentine's dinner last night for both the singles and the couples of the ward. When I first heard about it I already knew that Joe was going to be working so there was no way in H-E-double-hockey-sticks I was going. My mind was made up on the matter and that was that.
But then when I got home from work, I had no left overs and no meat taken out to thaw for dinner. I was tired and hungry and feeling lazy and so that's when the first seeds were sown. The idea crept into my mind that, "
Hey, there's going to be food at this thing. Free food."
I tried to stick to my original plan of an evening of Netflix, but after a pack of ichiban and half an episode of Glee my stomach was strongly suggesting I go to this dinner. It was 6:15 and the thing started at 6:30 so I threw on a skirt, picked out some shoes and was out the door by 6:25.
The whole drive there I was bombarded with feelings of anxiety and self-hate.
"
This is going to suck!"
"
You're going to be stuck at a table all by yourself! Or worse, you'll be stuck at a table of happy couples."
"
You won't be allowed to dance because no one's husband is going to dance with you and the single guys won't waste their time on a married woman."
These thoughts and more were attacking me during the short drive to the church. It was so bad I nearly started crying in the parking lot. But I couldn't let myself become overwhelmed with emotion or else I'd be a mess the whole night.
As I opened the door to the building I took a deep breath and promised myself I would only stay an hour. I forced a smile and walked in. I stepped into the gym and searched desperately for a familiar face. I inched along the wall and saw a couple whose names I knew, so that's who I was going to sit with.
I was just about to start walking toward their table when I heard someone call my name. I turned and saw a couple from my ward. The wife was waving me over so I went. As soon as I sat down she said, "I've been wanting to get to know you so this is perfect!" "Yeah, that worked out well."
She probably doesn't know it, but this girl was a Godsend. I learned her name since she already knew mine and we chatted on and off throughout the night. There were two other ladies at the table whose husbands also had to work that night. We all found things to talk about and I enjoyed myself through dinner. It turned out that this girl and I have some mutual friends from back home so we talked about how we knew them and funny memories.
As the evening wore on I ended up spending more than an hour at the church. As the program began, I stepped out so I could call Joe before he went to bed and then I went back just before they started the dance portion of the evening.
I had told one of the ladies I was sitting with that I really wanted to jive with someone but that it probably wasn't going to happen. So when the first dance came on and it was a jive song, she got up and found me a dance partner. The guy she found wasn't that good, but we had fun and he even told me about the dance group he goes to on Saturday evenings. I was so excited.
When I got home I was so glad that I went to the dinner. I got to know some people in my ward and I had some good food and I found out about the dance group in GP. I am so grateful that I swallowed my pride last night and went out on a limb to this dinner.
And folks, if you're ever at an event like this and see someone come in all alone, don't be afraid to invite them to sit at your table because odds are, they might need to feel some love. I think that's what Valentine's Day should really be all about.
