Oh man, let me tell you about the month I have had!
All within a matter of weeks I found out I was pregnant, my maternity leave ended and I went back to work, Joe switched from his shop position back to the field, AND just yesterday I learned that not only am I pregnant, but I'm already over halfway through my pregnancy!
There have been lots of overwhelming emotions with all these changes and there were times when I just did not know if I would come out on top. Going back to work hasn't been too bad. I love what I do and it's been nice to get back into it again. The hardest part is leaving Baden at daycare. He's still getting used to it so he cries when I leave. Joe's never had to drop the kids off at daycare, how come it's always moms dealing with the hard stuff?? So far I've had it easy with Joe's return to the field. My mom came up to visit the day he left and she just went back home yesterday, so I had her for a week. We'll see how I do flying solo this next week. It's been a while, so I'm pretty rusty at it, but I think we'll be okay. I hope we'll be okay...
And now, my pregnancy. I'll admit, I never thought I'd be one of those girls who didn't know she was pregnant. But I am sure glad it's not one of those reality TV worthy moments where I pull into the ER in excruciating pain only to deliver a baby I had no idea was coming. Thankfully we caught it in time.
So I had my ultrasound today and the tech guessed that I'm around 23 weeks along. With the help of a handy dandy date calculator I learned that I've been pregnant since October. OCTOBER. I was pregnant at Halloween! For Astrid's birthday! Christmas! New Years! Valentine's Day! All these holidays have gone by and I had. No. Clue.
In January I was mad at myself for overeating during Christmas because I was starting to get pudgy. Baden was coming up on 9 months old and I still hadn't lost the baby weight. My cardio was horrendous and the only reason I had some decent strength left was because my baby is such a chunk. Cue the gym motivation. I had a membership, and that included childcare, so I better use it, dang it! I was doing good until I started experiencing some pelvic pain that I'd had when I was pregnant with Baden. I figured it was because I had started working out again, so I made a physio appointment to get it dealt with and thought nothing more of it. Looking back, I probably started experiencing those old pregnancy pains because I'm pregnant again, duh!
In February I was really gassy. Like, I'd eat a meal and within an hour my stomach was churning and I was producing some really foul smells. And then I started feeling these gas bubbles in my lower abdomen throughout the day. Just more gas I guess... After about a week of those bubbles I started to wonder if those were baby movements. They sure seemed awfully familiar... But I'd had a period in January! Even if I were pregnant it'd be far too early to feel the baby move! It would just be a blob of cells at this point! Still, another week went by and these little bubbles were becoming more frequent. And stronger? Oh crap, could I really be pregnant? By the end of February I'd started to become really stressed out by it.
As March began, and I'd started to gear up to go back to work on the 12th, we received word that Joe would be returning to the field on the 14th. Halliburton had been promising to send him back since January but nothing had come of it so we were starting to believe he'd go the whole year in the shop. Working the shop position had been really nice because it allowed Joe to be home every night and he had every other weekend off. The only downside was that it came with a pay cut and once we adjusted our spending habits, our savings still continued to go down so we needed him to go back to the field to start earning more money again. So once we learned that it was indeed happening that he would be going back to the field, the reality set in that I hadn't had to take care of the two kids completely on my own yet. After Baden was born, Joe had been there consistently to help with the evening routine. What was I going to do when it was just me for two weeks straight without a break?? I knew how exhausting it could be with just one child and I really started to worry about how it would be with two. And then there was that nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me that, to top it off, I might be pregnant too.
One night I expressed my concerns to Joseph. I wrote down all the things I was stressing about. Including my pregnancy worries. I showed Joe my list and we talked through them one by one. When he got to my pregnancy concern he laughed it off. "This one is so easy to resolve! Just go buy a pregnancy test to put your mind at ease. There's no way you're pregnant, so stop worrying about it" The next day I went out and bought a pack of 2 pregnancy tests. I needed to resolve this once and for all. Every pregnancy test you buy always recommends you test your morning pee to be sure you get the highest concentration of pregnancy hormone. So the next morning, on March the 5th I collected my urine sample and stuck the pregnancy test in it. I always cover my pregnancy tests with a piece of toilet paper and wait the two or three minutes the instructions tell you to wait because #rules. So when I uncovered that little stick and saw those two pink lines I gasped and put my face in my hands because maybe if I couldn't see it, it wasn't real. I peeked, and they were still there. Dang. I took the second test and stuck that in the cup too. This time I watched as those little pink lines showed up again. Dang it! Dang freaking nab it! That didn't put my mind at ease at all! What the heck!
I texted a friend for support and told her to call me ASAP. Which she did. Friend, if you're reading, thank you. I'm glad to have someone nearby that I can vent to. And I'm glad I had someone to be sympathetic and supportive and to help me feel like it wasn't the end of the world to be pregnant way sooner than I wanted to be. I hoped I'd be able to get together with my friend so we could talk in person. We made a tentative plan to meet up at the library. But it didn't work out. But it was okay. I actually found two more of my friends there and I told both of them right away. It felt good to tell people who were excited for me, because it helped me feel a little less un-excited about the whole thing. I know without a doubt that I was in the right place at the right time that day. Thank you friends, for making plans to go to the library that day! And thank you for being sympathetic while also being excited for me.
I saw my family doctor the next day to get a referral to see the baby doctor. I also requested an ultrasound since I'd been feeling movements, but it seemed too early for that if I was as far along as my last period suggested. He didn't seem concerned, but ordered the ultrasound anyway.
The two weeks leading up to my ultrasound were agony! If I were 8 weeks along, I should not be showing like this. But maybe because I'd only recently had Baden, that's why I was getting bigger sooner. Not only that, but I could swear I was feeling definite kicks at this point, and the rhythmic thump, thump, thump of hiccups occasionally. What was going on?? I definitely had a period back in January. Like, a full-on, all systems go, purge the uterus, kind of period. Except, it was unlike any period I'd ever had. The bleeding only lasted 24 hours, but it was a flood. I filled a pad in a matter of hours. It was insane! But it wasn't painful, so that was good. Still, if I had known I was pregnant at that point I would have thought I'd lost the baby, so how could there be anything still there in March?
There were two things I knew:
1. I had a period in January. No question. Which meant I was 8 weeks pregnant.
2. I was definitely feeling something in my stomach that I shouldn't be feeling at 8 weeks along.
These two things were so conflicting! It confused me and made me think I was going crazy for thinking I could possibly be further along than what my period tracker said I could be.
Finally, the day of my ultrasound came. I filled my bladder as instructed and gingerly walked into the clinic. The wait wasn't long and soon I was in a room with my stomach exposed. The tech asked when my last period was. And I told her, January 18th. I also told her that I'd been feeling movement, so I suspected I was further along than 8 weeks. She gooped me up and put the wand on my stomach.
"Yup, you're further than 8 weeks. How far along do you think you are?"
I told her I figured I wasn't in my first trimester anymore. Maybe 15 weeks? 16?
"It looks to me like you're around 23 weeks along."
I'd say I was surprised, but really, I was relieved. I wasn't going crazy! I was in tune with my body after all! You know, except the part where I totally didn't clue in that I was pregnant for four months. But hey, once that baby started moving, I'd felt it, and recognised it. I had denied it at first, but I knew.
Now my dating ultrasound had just turned into an anatomy scan. I asked the technician if she could have a look at the sex for me and she said she would. She went to work gathering the measurements she needed. I stayed quiet to let her do her job. Every once in a while I'd look at the screen and ask about what I was seeing.
Finally, she turned the screen toward me and showed the side profile of my baby. That was a real baby in there! Sneaky little thing!
The tech showed me the baby's spine and the baby's heart.
I saw a hand and a foot.
I saw the the little tiny radius and ulna of the baby's forearm. (I have a thing for little tiny skeletons, don't judge me)
And then we worked our way down and I had a hard time seeing what I was supposed to, but the technician told me it looked like my baby was a girl.
Astrid will be so pleased! A couple weeks ago when I asked her if she'd like to have another sibling, she told me yes, but she wanted a sister and not a brother. When I told her that we couldn't really choose if it were a boy or girl, she shrugged and said that she'll just have a toy instead then.
As soon as I got out, I called Joe and told him the news. He never would have guessed that we only have half a pregnancy left before we meet this baby. I sent a couple more texts and then I went home. I shared our news on social media, and now here we are. 2 weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant. Yesterday I found out I was having a girl and that girl is coming in 5 months or less. I don't know if want another child after this, but it would sure be nice if I could only have a half pregnancy again like this one. We already almost there! We thought we'd have a baby in the fall, but it turns out this will be a summer baby. Wahoo!
