Sometimes I surprise myself

Yesterday was the dreaded Valentine's day. Joe was gone so that was even less reason for me to be excited for it. But I made myself go out and I ended up being glad I did.

My church put on a Valentine's dinner last night for both the singles and the couples of the ward. When I first heard about it I already knew that Joe was going to be working so there was no way in H-E-double-hockey-sticks I was going. My mind was made up on the matter and that was that.

But then when I got home from work, I had no left overs and no meat taken out to thaw for dinner. I was tired and hungry and feeling lazy and so that's when the first seeds were sown. The idea crept into my mind that, "Hey, there's going to be food at this thing. Free food."

I tried to stick to my original plan of an evening of Netflix, but after a pack of ichiban and half an episode of Glee my stomach was strongly suggesting I go to this dinner. It was 6:15 and the thing started at 6:30 so I threw on a skirt, picked out some shoes and was out the door by 6:25.

The whole drive there I was bombarded with feelings of anxiety and self-hate.

"This is going to suck!"

"You're going to be stuck at a table all by yourself! Or worse, you'll be stuck at a table of happy couples."

"You won't be allowed to dance because no one's husband is going to dance with you and the single guys won't waste their time on a married woman."

These thoughts and more were attacking me during the short drive to the church. It was so bad I nearly started crying in the parking lot. But I couldn't let myself become overwhelmed with emotion or else I'd be a mess the whole night.

As I opened the door to the building I took a deep breath and promised myself I would only stay an hour. I forced a smile and walked in. I stepped into the gym and searched desperately for a familiar face. I inched along the wall and saw a couple whose names I knew, so that's who I was going to sit with.

I was just about to start walking toward their table when I heard someone call my name. I turned and saw a couple from my ward. The wife was waving me over so I went. As soon as I sat down she said, "I've been wanting to get to know you so this is perfect!" "Yeah, that worked out well."

She probably doesn't know it, but this girl was a Godsend. I learned her name since she already knew mine and we chatted on and off throughout the night. There were two other ladies at the table whose husbands also had to work that night. We all found things to talk about and I enjoyed myself through dinner. It turned out that this girl and I have some mutual friends from back home so we talked about how we knew them and funny memories.

As the evening wore on I ended up spending more than an hour at the church. As the program began, I stepped out so I could call Joe before he went to bed and then I went back just before they started the dance portion of the evening.

I had told one of the ladies I was sitting with that I really wanted to jive with someone but that it probably wasn't going to happen. So when the first dance came on and it was a jive song, she got up and found me a dance partner. The guy she found wasn't that good, but we had fun and he even told me about the dance group he goes to on Saturday evenings. I was so excited.

When I got home I was so glad that I went to the dinner. I got to know some people in my ward and I had some good food and I found out about the dance group in GP. I am so grateful that I swallowed my pride last night and went out on a limb to this dinner.

And folks, if you're ever at an event like this and see someone come in all alone, don't be afraid to invite them to sit at your table because odds are, they might need to feel some love. I think that's what Valentine's Day should really be all about.

Love what you've got!

Stop! Watch this video. Then move on.


Ladies, we all need to love our bodies no matter what our size. If you are in good health and your body can function properly and do the things you need it to, then you can be happy with the body you have.

I am 5'8" and a size 12. I have a curvy figure and I will never have a gap between my thighs. I probably won't have as nice a shape as I have forever, but I'm okay with that. I love my body, come what may!

Whether you are straight or curvy, round or thin, tall or short, black or white or red or green -- you shouldn't have to feel like you aren't enough!

I've met women who have the "model look", but still criticize everything they see in the mirror. And then I've met women who you will never find on a catwalk, but are more comfortable in their skin than anyone I know. It really doesn't matter how you measure up to magazine standards, it only matters how you measure up to your own.

We all have insecurities. Every single one of us. There are some days that I look around and feel like everyone else looks good but me. But when I stop comparing myself to others and stop trying to be just like everyone else, that's when I can look in the mirror and like what I see. You can do it too. Just because you aren't skinny like your pretty friend doesn't mean you can't be pretty too.

We can all be pretty. We can all be beautiful.

In case you haven't found true happiness yet

Dear friend,

I wish I could tell you to stop worrying and stop comparing yourself with others. Stop worrying about chasing the picture perfect life you have imagined in your head. I hate to break it to you, but if you keep waiting to be happy until you find your soul mate, buy a house, pay off the car, have a child, find your dream job, etc., you'll never be happy! Whatever that goal is in your mind that you are trying to reach isn't what will make you happy.

Stop feeling like you aren't good enough just because you don't have the same things as your friends. If you have friends that appear so happy because they have things that you don't, be happy for them but don't hate them for it. Odds are, they probably feel like their life is missing something too.

If you live your life waiting for that one piece of the puzzle to complete your life and ultimately make you happy, it's not going to happen. Because life isn't that simple. There's always more to being in love, owning a house, having a child, and having a job than we think there is. If you build something up in your head to be so amazing that there is no way you could be unhappy with that thing in your life, it's probably going to let you down.

Let me share with you a story.

I was in grade 10 when Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire became a movie. I was so excited to see it because it was my favourite book of the series and so I expected it to be the best Potter movie ever. When I got the chance to see the movie, I went with friends to the theatre and was ready to have my life made. Except - ugh, Harry, Ron, get a haircut! What happened to the Quidditch World Cup? I was so excited for that bit! Wait wait wait, why'd they leave this part out? Why didn't they show this? What happened to that? The movie had left out so many of my favourite bits from the book that I left the theatre disappointed. It wasn't what I expected at all.

This past summer I saw Ironman 3. I didn't really want to go, but Joe really wanted me to go with him so I went. And you know what? It was better than I expected because I wasn't expecting anything from it! 

It's a true talent to be able to enjoy the journey of life rather than wait for the joy to come at the destination, but I promise you that you can learn to enjoy your life where it is right now - despite the fact that you are still single or you don't yet have the keys to the beautiful house you've imagined, or you don't yet have the child you've been yearning for. Find things about your life today that make you happy. You don't know how much time you have left, so allow yourself to be happy now before it's too late!