To the bandits who stole our Cutco (among other things)...

You know who you are. I may not, but you do.

You think you're pretty smart don't you? Well, I must say, your timing was impeccable. Did you know we were going to move our things out of the storage unit just a few days after you robbed it? Cause we did. And then we took it 900 kilometres away, so if you had waited a week, you would have been robbing an empty storage unit.

Right off the bat I knew you had stolen our stand up mirror. That's okay. I paid 5 bucks for it at a garage sale. We had no way to know what else you took until we unpacked after the move because we had so much other crap in there. Thanks for not taking all of it, by the way.

But did you have to take the cutco?! I'm pretty sure you just grabbed a box and ran, but you sure picked a good box because it would appear that all of our cutco was in that box. And my favourite grater. And 2 of my cookbooks.

You may have taken more than that from us, but we still haven't noticed it's missing at this point. It's kind of become a game in our house. I'll ask Joe, "Hey, do you remember unpacking [insert beloved item here]?" And he'll say, "No... Do you?" and I say, "Nope... Those stinking bandits!"

So to my malicious miscreants, I hope you nick yourself every time you use my cutco and screw up every recipe you try from my cookbooks.

We shall never be friends.
Sincerly,
Leinani