*Note: I don't know why I didn't post this when I wrote it. Was going through my drafts and found this one unpublished, but finished! Let's blame the baby brain.
Well, it's down to the final stretch. (literally!!)
I hit 37 weeks this weekend and that means the little Bean is a full term baby. It can come any day without causing too much stress. Other than the standard, "holy crap you just pooped out a human, now what?" stress. omg, can someone pleeeaaaase make me a card that says that? Cassandra. I vote you.
Overall, I feel like pregnancy has been kind to me. Although I feel big, by everyone else's standards I am quite small. I can still squat down with relative ease. I've learned how to pee in a cup without getting it on my hands. My energy levels are pretty normal. And I've only had fat ankles once after a car ride home from Edmonton (knock on wood!).
To be honest, when I first found out I was pregnant, I think I was filled mostly with dread. Yes, Joe and I were trying to conceive a child, but I still wasn't quite ready to give up my life as I knew it. So when I saw the little blue lines that told me I was pregnant, I was scared to move on into the next big phase of my life that would last 18+ years. But as the baby has grown, so has my excitement to meet the little one. I can say I'm not dreading it any more. I do worry that I'll be overwhelmed and scared and exhausted, but I know that with God on my side, I can do this. We can do this.
Along with turning 37 weeks this weekend, I also went to my prenatal course which was basically all about what to expect when you're in labour and what to do with a newborn. While I was there I learned a fact that blew my mind. Did you know that when babies are born their stomachs are the size of a marble?? I had no idea their stomachs were so small. And then I realized something: My boobs have grown nearly twice their size in order to feed a tummy the size of a MARBLE!!?? How is that fair! And apparently my milk hasn't even come in so that means they're going to get EVEN BIGGER!! To feed a MARBLE!!! In what world does that make sense?? How on earth were my previously sized boobs not large enough to hold enough milk to fill a marble-sized stomach? Gah. Life is unfair.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Monday, October 20, 2014
Following through
I almost forgot!
In my last post I promised to post a picture of my Halloween costume that I wore for the party this past weekend. So here it is:
In my last post I promised to post a picture of my Halloween costume that I wore for the party this past weekend. So here it is:
I went as Buddha.
I knew I wanted to incorporate my pregnant belly into my costume seeing as I may not have it for another Halloween depending on when I get pregnant with my future babies. So I thought of a lot of different round things before I settled on this one.
Here's the breakdown of my costume:
- red chinese silk robe (already had this, found at Catholic Charities years ago)
- flowy brown maternity capris (inherited from sister-in-law)
- nude coloured t-shirt (this was the only thing I had to buy! Value Village for 5$)
- gold silky sash (bought at Catholic Charities a while ago as a scarf)
- beady necklace (from Reitmans)
- big wooden hoopy earrrings (gift from a friend so I have no idea where they're from)
A few of my other ideas were a disco ball, the death star from star wars, and an M&M. I think I made the right decision. What do you think??
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Confessions of a Pregnant Girl, part III
I am quite overdue for an update!
- I hit the 33 week mark today. For those who don't speak in weeks, that's about 7 and a half months.
- I am definitely showing, but strangers still don't ask or touch unless I say something. I am getting more and more uncomfortable as I fight for space with my tiny human. While it's scary to think I have so little time left, I can't wait for it to be over so I can have my body back.
- I found my first stretch marks a little over a month ago. At first there were just a few faint pink marks under my belly, but they are multiplying in number and getting darker. Oi. I'm sure they'll get even better by the end.
- I used to think baby brain wasn't a real thing and that it was just an excuse for pregnant women to be airheads, but OH MY GOSH. It is real and it is awful. I feel so stupid sometimes! The other day, Joe needed the car for work, so he gave me a ride. On the way there I realized (or at least I thought I realized) I forgot to grab my phone on the way out. So I put the number for the clinic in Joe's phone in case he needed to get a hold of me. Then, the next morning I remembered I still needed to find my phone, so I called it. And where did I find it? In my work bag!! I had it with me all along!! I've been forgetful in the past, but it's so bad these days that every single time I go into another room to do something, I have to stop and think to remember what it was I went in there for.
- I'm going to a Halloween party tonight and I am so excited for my costume. It's something I can only pull off because I'm pregnant so I'm pretty stoked about it. For the sake of keeping it a surprise, I'll post a picture of my costume tomorrow, but trust me, it's pretty stinking clever.
- I have mastered the art of peeing in a cup and I must say, it makes my doctor visits so much smoother. Except my last one. I went in to collect my sample and I totally forgot to do it. I just did my business and got out. So I chugged my water bottle and had to collect it 10 minutes later. The nurse wasn't even mad because apparently, it happens all the time. Pregnant ladies are pathetic! Gah! Stupid baby brain...
- Living in a city where people are just barely starting to get to know me has been nice while being pregnant. I've had like, zero people fondle my belly since I've started showing. But last weekend I went home for Thanksgiving and hands were everywhere! Obviously my family all wanted to cop a feel, but then there was church where all the ladies who raised me wanted to feel too. It wasn't too bad actually. It was fun to have my little sister feel when the baby was moving because I don't think she's ever gotten to feel a baby move while it's still inside.
- Speaking of feeling the baby move - at my last doctor's appointment she told me I needed to start counting kicks and that I should feel baby move at least 10 times in an hour. That has not been a problem for this child at all! Sometimes I can get 10 kicks in 5 minutes! This is definitely a squrimer. It's still pretty funny when I'm trying to get Joseph to feel or see it move because he always looks away at the wrong moment. Last night he poked my belly and told baby to "Move!" and for some reason, he immediately looked away right after he poked it and baby made a big movement the second his eyes were off. When he turned back to look, he poked again and could feel that baby had shifted positions, but he'd totally missed it happening.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Cari
(prompt: Start a story with the line "Everyone whispered about _______, but no one had the courage to talk to her.")
Everyone whispered about Cari, but no one had the courage to talk to her. The poor dear had chosen to wear a pretty white dress of all things.
Nathan had noticed it first; she'd gotten up to sharpen her pencil and that's when he saw it. It was small at first, but by the second period it had grown to the size of her hand.
Of course Nathan was your typical immature, grade 7 boy and while the female body had become quite attractive to him, its functions remained a dirty joke. As soon as he saw the tiny red flag he immediately pointed it out to the two boys he sat with who gasped and made their own crude comments about the little accident.
Only 5 minutes of class remained at that point, but Nathan and his gang easily spread the word to two-thirds of their classmates. Cari sat at the back with the other special kids so it was easy for her to miss the heated whispers flying around the room.
I was in the other third of the class, but I sat next to Nathan in second period so it wasn't long before I, too, was informed. I had yet to receive my first "gift", so I had no idea what Cari was going through. I wouldn't get to experience that part of a woman's life until the next year in grade 8. Thankfully I didn't have any incidents happen that were made public to my entire grade.
I wish the "gifted" girls would have sympathized with Cari, but alas, middle schoolers are cruel. Besides, Cari was not the kind of girl you made friends with. She was the kind of girl you pitied and joked about behind her back - or to her face if you were one of those kids.
So in second period when I was informed of Cari's incident, I did nothing. I just kept looking back at her table like Nathan and his buddies, waiting to see what would happen.
I saw the moment when she found the spot. At that point it had grown, so she had to bundle the once-white fabric in her hand as she went to the front of the room to ask the teacher's permission to go to the bathroom. At first she was told, "No. Class just started, you should have gone during break." But Cari then whispered the situation to the teacher at which point she was allowed to leave.
As soon as Cari left the room, the kids in the room who knew all started to giggle and fill in the others about what was going on. I don't remember what we learned that day in science class, but I do remember the awful feeling I had as the day continued.
The next time we saw Cari, we were returning to home room after second period. She was in a new set of clothes and sat at the foot of her locker with her arms wrapped around her knees. As we came into the hallway she lowered her head to hide her tears. Everyone avoided her as we walked by in the hall.
By the end of the day the whole grade 7 wing knew about what happened to Cari. One creative group of girls replaced Cari's name in the Bloody Mary chant saying that if you spun 3 times in front of a mirror repeating "Bloody Cari", when you stopped and looked in the mirror you would get your period.
Since I was an eye witness to the events, I told my side of the story to the friends not in my class. Eventually the whole thing blew over, but if Cari had any chance of escaping the social rejects group, it died along with her white dress that day.
Every once in a while I think of Cari and wonder what happened to her. I always feel bad for the way she was treated and even though I never did or said anything to her, I feel shame that I didn't show her some kindness. I often wish I'd had to courage to be a friend to kids like Cari. I wish I wasn't so worried about what the cool kids thought of me and I wish I'd done the right thing more often.
So to all the Caris out there, I'm sorry. While I wasn't the one who actually bullied you, I didn't do anything to stop it which is just as bad. I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to do the right thing and I'm sorry that my cowardice didn't make your life any brighter. I promise to teach my children to be kind and more importantly to stand up for others. It may not change what happened to the Caris of my generation, but hopefully my future kid can make someone's life a little brighter by being a friend to them and doing the right thing instead of the cool thing.
Everyone whispered about Cari, but no one had the courage to talk to her. The poor dear had chosen to wear a pretty white dress of all things.
Nathan had noticed it first; she'd gotten up to sharpen her pencil and that's when he saw it. It was small at first, but by the second period it had grown to the size of her hand.
Of course Nathan was your typical immature, grade 7 boy and while the female body had become quite attractive to him, its functions remained a dirty joke. As soon as he saw the tiny red flag he immediately pointed it out to the two boys he sat with who gasped and made their own crude comments about the little accident.
Only 5 minutes of class remained at that point, but Nathan and his gang easily spread the word to two-thirds of their classmates. Cari sat at the back with the other special kids so it was easy for her to miss the heated whispers flying around the room.
I was in the other third of the class, but I sat next to Nathan in second period so it wasn't long before I, too, was informed. I had yet to receive my first "gift", so I had no idea what Cari was going through. I wouldn't get to experience that part of a woman's life until the next year in grade 8. Thankfully I didn't have any incidents happen that were made public to my entire grade.
I wish the "gifted" girls would have sympathized with Cari, but alas, middle schoolers are cruel. Besides, Cari was not the kind of girl you made friends with. She was the kind of girl you pitied and joked about behind her back - or to her face if you were one of those kids.
So in second period when I was informed of Cari's incident, I did nothing. I just kept looking back at her table like Nathan and his buddies, waiting to see what would happen.
I saw the moment when she found the spot. At that point it had grown, so she had to bundle the once-white fabric in her hand as she went to the front of the room to ask the teacher's permission to go to the bathroom. At first she was told, "No. Class just started, you should have gone during break." But Cari then whispered the situation to the teacher at which point she was allowed to leave.
As soon as Cari left the room, the kids in the room who knew all started to giggle and fill in the others about what was going on. I don't remember what we learned that day in science class, but I do remember the awful feeling I had as the day continued.
The next time we saw Cari, we were returning to home room after second period. She was in a new set of clothes and sat at the foot of her locker with her arms wrapped around her knees. As we came into the hallway she lowered her head to hide her tears. Everyone avoided her as we walked by in the hall.
By the end of the day the whole grade 7 wing knew about what happened to Cari. One creative group of girls replaced Cari's name in the Bloody Mary chant saying that if you spun 3 times in front of a mirror repeating "Bloody Cari", when you stopped and looked in the mirror you would get your period.
Since I was an eye witness to the events, I told my side of the story to the friends not in my class. Eventually the whole thing blew over, but if Cari had any chance of escaping the social rejects group, it died along with her white dress that day.
Every once in a while I think of Cari and wonder what happened to her. I always feel bad for the way she was treated and even though I never did or said anything to her, I feel shame that I didn't show her some kindness. I often wish I'd had to courage to be a friend to kids like Cari. I wish I wasn't so worried about what the cool kids thought of me and I wish I'd done the right thing more often.
So to all the Caris out there, I'm sorry. While I wasn't the one who actually bullied you, I didn't do anything to stop it which is just as bad. I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to do the right thing and I'm sorry that my cowardice didn't make your life any brighter. I promise to teach my children to be kind and more importantly to stand up for others. It may not change what happened to the Caris of my generation, but hopefully my future kid can make someone's life a little brighter by being a friend to them and doing the right thing instead of the cool thing.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
24
Yesterday was the 24th anniversary of the day I escaped my mother's womb.
Yes, I am 24 now.
It doesn't seem too different from 23. Especially since I spent most of my 23rd year thinking I was 24 anyway.
Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost every time someone asked how old I was, "24" always wanted to be my first response. Then I would correct myself and say, "oh wait, no, I'm 23"
My day yesterday was pretty good. Joe had to get up at 6 for work, so he got me up about 10 minutes later so he could give me my present. Apparently his gift wasn't to let me sleep in, but he got me some awesome books instead.
One book is called "642 Things to Write" which will be quite useful in getting me to get back to blogging about more than being pregnant (not that I've done a ton of that anyway!). And the other is a Q&A journal where everyday it asks you a question and you have a few lines to answer that question. What Joe didn't realize was that this was a couples journal where we both get to answer the question. He's not big into journalling so this shall be an interesting experience, ha. I made him answer yesterday's question at the breakfast table since it was such an appropriate question for how I've been feeling lately. The question was, "Do you feel at home in your body?"
Now, had you asked me that question 7 months ago I would have said, "yes! I love my body!". But these days it's difficult to say you're at home in your body when you have to battle with a tiny human for control of your bladder. Or when picking up an object off the ground requires a wide, awkward squat instead of a simple bennnd and snap!
Sorry, I've gotten off track. This post isn't about being pregnant, it's about my birthday.
My day at work was good. My co-workers gave me an ice cream cake and a card and this cake is the most delicious ice cream cake I have ever had the pleasure of eating. I don't normally like ice cream cakes because they usually come from Dairy Queen and have way too much vanilla ice cream and not enough chocolate ice cream and cookie stuff. But this ice cream cake is awesome. It's made of two layers of actual cake lovingly sandwiching a middle layer of ice cream. The ice cream to cake ratio is perfect! Plus the cake part is chocolate so that's great.
After work Joe and I went to a new restaurant in town called The Sawmill. Just a heads up, if you plan on going to the Sawmill for your birthday to get a free birthday dessert, this is not the place to go. It's a nice restaurant, but it was definitely not worth the price. Joe's plate cost 30 bucks and he was still hungry after finishing it. I couldn't finish my meal, but even though I didn't really have a lot left, I couldn't justify not packing it up because we were going to be paying so much for it anyway. As for the free dessert, you have to have a loyalty card to get one and even if we had opted to get one that night, we still couldn't have gotten a free dessert. I thought it was pretty stingy of them. I ended up getting dessert anyway just because I had saved room for it by not stuffing myself with the last remaining bites of my entrée so, dangit, I was going to have dessert! I opted for one of the cheaper dessert items since it wasn't going to be free and it was delicious. I had the lemon tart with cream and fresh berries on the side.
Even though the Sawmill was disappointing, I got to go to dinner with my favourite guy and I didn't have to make my own meal or wash my dishes at the end of the night, so I was happy.
Yes, I am 24 now.
It doesn't seem too different from 23. Especially since I spent most of my 23rd year thinking I was 24 anyway.
Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost every time someone asked how old I was, "24" always wanted to be my first response. Then I would correct myself and say, "oh wait, no, I'm 23"
My day yesterday was pretty good. Joe had to get up at 6 for work, so he got me up about 10 minutes later so he could give me my present. Apparently his gift wasn't to let me sleep in, but he got me some awesome books instead.
One book is called "642 Things to Write" which will be quite useful in getting me to get back to blogging about more than being pregnant (not that I've done a ton of that anyway!). And the other is a Q&A journal where everyday it asks you a question and you have a few lines to answer that question. What Joe didn't realize was that this was a couples journal where we both get to answer the question. He's not big into journalling so this shall be an interesting experience, ha. I made him answer yesterday's question at the breakfast table since it was such an appropriate question for how I've been feeling lately. The question was, "Do you feel at home in your body?"
Now, had you asked me that question 7 months ago I would have said, "yes! I love my body!". But these days it's difficult to say you're at home in your body when you have to battle with a tiny human for control of your bladder. Or when picking up an object off the ground requires a wide, awkward squat instead of a simple bennnd and snap!
Sorry, I've gotten off track. This post isn't about being pregnant, it's about my birthday.
My day at work was good. My co-workers gave me an ice cream cake and a card and this cake is the most delicious ice cream cake I have ever had the pleasure of eating. I don't normally like ice cream cakes because they usually come from Dairy Queen and have way too much vanilla ice cream and not enough chocolate ice cream and cookie stuff. But this ice cream cake is awesome. It's made of two layers of actual cake lovingly sandwiching a middle layer of ice cream. The ice cream to cake ratio is perfect! Plus the cake part is chocolate so that's great.
After work Joe and I went to a new restaurant in town called The Sawmill. Just a heads up, if you plan on going to the Sawmill for your birthday to get a free birthday dessert, this is not the place to go. It's a nice restaurant, but it was definitely not worth the price. Joe's plate cost 30 bucks and he was still hungry after finishing it. I couldn't finish my meal, but even though I didn't really have a lot left, I couldn't justify not packing it up because we were going to be paying so much for it anyway. As for the free dessert, you have to have a loyalty card to get one and even if we had opted to get one that night, we still couldn't have gotten a free dessert. I thought it was pretty stingy of them. I ended up getting dessert anyway just because I had saved room for it by not stuffing myself with the last remaining bites of my entrée so, dangit, I was going to have dessert! I opted for one of the cheaper dessert items since it wasn't going to be free and it was delicious. I had the lemon tart with cream and fresh berries on the side.
Even though the Sawmill was disappointing, I got to go to dinner with my favourite guy and I didn't have to make my own meal or wash my dishes at the end of the night, so I was happy.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Confessions of a Pregnant Girl, Part II
So far being in the second trimester has been exciting and frustrating all together.
- What's been the most exciting is that I definitely know I've been feeling baby move. I mentioned in the last confession that I thought I might have felt the baby move, but now I definitely know that those little gas bubbles were indeed baby. The movements have been getting more and more distinct and I even notice them while I'm at work too. Which is nice but it can be so distracting... How am I supposed to concentrate at work when I have a small alien tickling me from the inside???
- At work, with a client, explaining an exercise to them
- Me: "So yeah all you do is you move this way -" *punch*
- "uh huh, just like that. And then you -" *punch, punch*
- "yeah, you've got it!" *wiggle, wiggle, punch*
- Recently, I've discovered that baby's movements are now strong enough to be felt from the outside too! I was sitting on the couch and I felt like some of the punches were really strong so I placed my hand on my tummy and sure enough, I could feel the movements under my hand! I was so sad Joe couldn't be there, but I texted him right away to tell him. At least by the time he gets home I'm sure the movements will have gotten stronger so he should have no problem feeling them!
- Something that is both frustrating and exciting is the fact that I am finally starting to show! Sort of. I am 23 weeks along today (or 5 months for those of you who don't measure time in weeks) and it only really shows when I let my stomach muscles totally relax. Otherwise, when I've got my core engaged, it just looks like I'm starting to get fat.
 |
| "Psst, is that girl pregnant or is she just getting fat?" |
 |
| "Aw what a cute pregnant girl! And the faces she makes are totally adorable! She will have a cute child." |
- I have finally made the switch to maternity pants at work, thanks to my sister-in-law and OH MY LANTA WHAT WAS I WAITING FOR! They are so comfortable. I really like the ones that have the super stretchy tummies just cause they feel more secure and don't emphasize the fact that I have a billion layers going on around my stomach in the summertime. Now that I have a good variety of pants for work, now I just need to collect a few more maternity tops and I should be set!
- I think I would like to check out some prenatal yoga classes soon. I've been able to find out about a class the happens here in GP so now I just need to make a commitment to go. This will be my first time venturing into a fitness group outside of school that doesn't involve rugby people, so wish me luck! If I had a pregnant friend to bring along that would be great (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, to a certain pregnant girl who moved back south just before I found out I was pregnant!)
- Okay, this one's a bit of a rant but... One thing that annoys me about being pregnant is how everyone who knows I'm pregnant wants to treat me like I'm made of glass, or they think I need to be extra careful while I'm doing things. Like the other day when I was standing on a stool to fix the dryer vent a co-worker said, "Be careful! If anyone here needs to avoid falling it's you!" And then another time when another co-worker was struggling to move a big heavy box into another room, I just stepped in and pushed it as I've been taught to push anything in rugby and she was all worried that I might hurt myself. I just don't understand how my body can all of a sudden become this frail, delicate thing when all my life it has been strong and reliable! I just wish people would trust that I know my body and I know how to listen to it when it needs a break. As I've been playing touch rugby with a group of people from church, I have definitely noticed that I can't cut and run like I used to (not that I was much of a runner before), but I don't push it! I take breaks when I need to and I stop when I've had enough. My biggest pet peeve is when someone doesn't think I can do something just because I'm a girl and I feel like a lot of people underestimate my abilities just because I'm pregnant! I'm carrying a child, not a disease. I'm not dying. Calm down, everyone. **DISCLAIMER: I am in no way saying that pregnant girls should ignore restrictions placed on them and go out and push their bodies to the max. I am saying you should listen to your body and do only what feels comfortable. Pregnancy is no time to be trying to break any world records**
Thursday, July 10, 2014
The kind of post my mom would scold me for
It is after 10 pm and I have to be at work for 9 tomorrow. But here I am blogging because I am an adult and I pay rent so I do what I want.
I saw someone post an article earlier today that said something like "15 things couples do when they leave the honeymoon phase". I skimmed it and it made me think of the days when Joe and I were in the honeymoon phase, but more specifically it made me think of the day we left the honeymoon phase. (and just to clarify, I'm defining the honeymoon phase as that time in a new relationship when the couple still feels the need to put on their best selves around each other. Not the literal honeymoon phase where the couple has just gotten married and is still enjoying the perks of - well, you know...)
Anyway, sorry for the long parentheses. Where were we? Oh yes.
The day Joe and I left the honeymoon phase, or in other words: the day we broke the fart barrier. Everybody knows that when the fart barrier is broken, all other walls come tumbling down. It's impossible to go back to the honeymoon phase once gas has been passed between two lovers.
I can say with a mix of pride and shame that I was the one to break the barrier, but it was Joe's fault that it happened.
I think we'd only been dating a month or a month and a half when it happened. Joe was over at my house and we were just messing around in the living room. Somehow we started steam-rolling each other. Then Joe got the bright idea to turn himself so that he was steam-rollering me from top to bottom instead of side to side. As he did so, I said "No don't! I'm really gassy!" (which in itself, was a first in the relationship for one of us to even admit we had gas). But instead of respecting my womanly dignity of not farting in front of men, Joe just got this look in his eye that said "Oh really??" and he began to focus his steam-rolling efforts around my abdominal region (I was lying face-down, btw, otherwise that would have really hurt).
He didn't have to try for long before the demon was released. At first it was funny because of the noise it made and the fact that when I laughed, it came out in time with my laughs. But then Joe got a whiff of the monster and jumped across the room so fast you'd have thought someone released a stink bomb - oh wait...
I was rather embarrassed and worried that it might have been a deal breaker, but thankfully Joseph was able to see past my stench and he learned to love me for who I really am: a smart, talented girl whose farts should be taken seriously. Honestly, I'm pretty sure he only did it so that he would finally be allowed to fart around me. I later found out that until that point, his stomach used to hurt so bad from holding in the gas when he was with me too long.
So if there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that you should break the fart barrier as early as you can in a relationship in case there could be health risks associated with holding in your gas for too long. If you truly cared about your loved ones, you'd let them fart around you.
I saw someone post an article earlier today that said something like "15 things couples do when they leave the honeymoon phase". I skimmed it and it made me think of the days when Joe and I were in the honeymoon phase, but more specifically it made me think of the day we left the honeymoon phase. (and just to clarify, I'm defining the honeymoon phase as that time in a new relationship when the couple still feels the need to put on their best selves around each other. Not the literal honeymoon phase where the couple has just gotten married and is still enjoying the perks of - well, you know...)
Anyway, sorry for the long parentheses. Where were we? Oh yes.
The day Joe and I left the honeymoon phase, or in other words: the day we broke the fart barrier. Everybody knows that when the fart barrier is broken, all other walls come tumbling down. It's impossible to go back to the honeymoon phase once gas has been passed between two lovers.
I can say with a mix of pride and shame that I was the one to break the barrier, but it was Joe's fault that it happened.
I think we'd only been dating a month or a month and a half when it happened. Joe was over at my house and we were just messing around in the living room. Somehow we started steam-rolling each other. Then Joe got the bright idea to turn himself so that he was steam-rollering me from top to bottom instead of side to side. As he did so, I said "No don't! I'm really gassy!" (which in itself, was a first in the relationship for one of us to even admit we had gas). But instead of respecting my womanly dignity of not farting in front of men, Joe just got this look in his eye that said "Oh really??" and he began to focus his steam-rolling efforts around my abdominal region (I was lying face-down, btw, otherwise that would have really hurt).
He didn't have to try for long before the demon was released. At first it was funny because of the noise it made and the fact that when I laughed, it came out in time with my laughs. But then Joe got a whiff of the monster and jumped across the room so fast you'd have thought someone released a stink bomb - oh wait...
I was rather embarrassed and worried that it might have been a deal breaker, but thankfully Joseph was able to see past my stench and he learned to love me for who I really am: a smart, talented girl whose farts should be taken seriously. Honestly, I'm pretty sure he only did it so that he would finally be allowed to fart around me. I later found out that until that point, his stomach used to hurt so bad from holding in the gas when he was with me too long.
So if there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that you should break the fart barrier as early as you can in a relationship in case there could be health risks associated with holding in your gas for too long. If you truly cared about your loved ones, you'd let them fart around you.
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