2014 in Review

It's time for the annual New Year quiz! If you'd like to reread the reviews from previous years, go to the 2013 review and the links to the other years can be found there. (I'm lazy, ha) I should get a cookie though, because I finally fixed the stupid formatting for this stupid entry! (if you look at the previous years you'll notice the font looks wonky compared to everything else on the blog)

1. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

In 2013 we started making a theme for the year rather than do resolutions and I think it's a tradition I'd like to keep. Last year's was "Let virtue garnish thy thought unceasingly". We haven't had a chance to come up with a new one for 2015, but trust me, we will. 

2. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Uh yeah, about as close as you can get! Me!

3. Did anyone close to you die?

The family has made it through another year unscathed. Though I just recently started watching Downton Abbey and in the last episode one of the characters was killed and I am still livid from it.

4. What countries did you visit?

Hawaii really needs to be considered its own country because it's kind of depressing to visit this gorgeous tropical island and then realize you're still in the Amurica.

5. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

Anything that we were lacking this past year, we will have in 2015. We've bought a house and had a baby. Maybe I would like to develop some closer friendships. We came to GP knowing very few people, but we were able to make friends and now I would like to develop those friendships further. 

6. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

December 9th, Astrid's birthday! As well as April 1st, that's the day I found out I was pregnant.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I hate to be a broken record, but having a baby was a pretty big deal. I think another one though was that I had a real grown-up job this year working at the physiotherapy clinic.

8. What was your biggest failure?

I don't think I failed at anything this year. It was a good year.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Being pregnant wasn't always sunshine and butterflies. It kept me from playing rugby this year and that was a real bummer.

10. What was the best thing someone bought you?

A house. Joe is so good to me  

11. Where did most of your money go?

Into our house. And I'm sure only more of it will go there next year...

12. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Any time we went back home to visit. My convocation. Going to Hawaii. And having a baby.

13. What song will always remind you of 2014?

Let It Go. I was going to list other songs as well, but really, that one just blew up so much that nothing really came close.

14. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier.

b) fatter or skinnier? Fatter, sigh.

c) richer or poorer? Poorer. Thanks, house.

15. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Rugby. I missed it. And yoga. I started doing it late in the pregnancy game and I wish I'd gotten into it sooner.

16. What do you wish you'd done less of?

I regret nothing.

17. Did you fall in love in 2014?

Yes. I'd say I'm quite smitten with Astrid. She's pretty stinking cute.

18. What was your favourite TV program?

Fringe (still). Downton Abbey has been pretty good (I like watching it while I feed the baby)

19. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No.  

20. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I am pretty lame, musically. I've been stuck on the same stuff for years. Maybe this year I will venture out and try to find new things.  

21. What was your favourite film of this year?

Joe and I just watched Hercules and I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to. Ooh, and Xmen: Days of Future Past was pretty freaking amazing. I'd say that was my favourite.

22. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

I turned 24. Joe and I went out for dinner at a new place in town called the Sawmill and we were disappointed.

23. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Being more social.

24. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

Flowy shirts and stretchy pants (in other words: maternity wear).

25. What kept you sane?

Work, Joe, facetime and yoga.

26. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning and the Fine Bros were my entertainment of choice this year.  

27. Who do you miss?

I still miss the friends and family I have back home, but it doesn't hurt so much when I think of them any more.

28. Who was the best new person you met?

Brandi and Oaklan were two awesome people we met while up in GP and we were quite sad when they moved away. We've been able to make new friends since they left, but no one loves Settlers as much as they do!

29. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014:

Don't slack off when it comes to living the gospel. Say your personal prayers and read your scriptures everyday.

The Birth Story

In case you haven't heard, I'm a mom now. Our little Astrid was born on Tuesday, December 9th at 6:19 pm. I've been asked if it feels weird being a mom, but the weird thing is that it doesn't feel weird. It feels totally natural. Of course, I do pinch myself every once in a while because I can't believe I'm in this stage of life already, but I am happy and that's all that matters.

Astrid certainly took her time coming into the world. Her due date was set for December 6th, but in true Polynesian style, she wasn't too concerned about being punctual.

My contractions started on Monday the 8th at 2:30 in the morning. It was exciting and scary to think that by the end of the day I'd have a baby and be a mom (that thought turned out to be wrong). The contractions continued all day long, but they never became consistent. I checked in with my doula periodically throughout the day and she reassured me that even though things were going slow, that it was okay and I should try to go about my day as normally as possible. So me and my mom ran some errands in the morning and then Joe and I went to sign some papers for our mortgage at noon (oh yeah, we bought a house. I'll have to share more on that later). I had a nap in the afternoon and after dinner I had a bath and watched Sleepless in Seattle by my doula's recommendation to enjoy my final hours before becoming a mom. When I went to bed that night, I had come to terms with the fact that baby wouldn't be arriving until the 9th and decided to try and get as much rest as possible to prepare for what lay ahead.

At 11:30 pm, my contrations started to pick up in intensity so that I couldn't lay in bed any more when they came. I got my doula to come over around 2 am and we all worked together as the contractions slowly started becoming stronger and more consistent. (we had Fringe playing in the background the entire time. Thank you, Netflix). Finally at 6:30 am, Tuesday morning, I decided to head over to the hospital and hopefully be admitted in. When they checked me at 7:00, I was 4 cm dilated, but they weren't sure they were going to let me stay so they put in a call to my doctor. Because I was positive for strep B, they ended up keeping me and took me to the my room where I would eventually deliver.

After 5 gruelling hours, my conctractions were 1-2 minutes apart and had become quite unbearable. I had gone in with the resolve to give birth without any drugs, and so far I hadn't had anything for pain. At noon they checked me again and rather than tell me I was 7 or 8 or even 9 cms dilated they told me I was STILL 4 cm. My heart sank when I heard this. I was so tired and in so much pain and I had a whole 6 centimeters to go still. At that point I didn't care about going without drugs. There was no way I could last until 10 cms and have any strength to push without getting any rest.

The first thing I asked for was the gas because I had heard such good things about it from other women. I got it, but all it did was make me feel dizzy. Instead of wasting time with the small stuff like morphine or fentanyl, I went straight for the epidural. When I was making my birth plan, getting an epidural was out of the question. I was going to labour without pain killers, but if things really sucked, maybe I'd take some morphine. Little did I know I would be in labour for 36 hours before I would be told I was still only dilated at 4 cms.

By 2 pm I was hooked up to the epidural and numb from the stomach down. I hated the feeling that my butt was asleep, but I loved the fact that I no longer felt like I was dying, so I didn't complain too much about my tingling bum. I scarfed down the lunch that had been waiting for me since 12:30 and then I promptly barfed it all back up. I had forgotten that I was still nauseous from the gas I'd had earlier. I had a granola bar instead and then fell asleep for several hours. I woke up after 5 pm because I had started feeling some contractions again. I told my nurse and I was allowed to have another shot of the good stuff.

Things continued to ramp up and I could really feel the pressure increasing in my abdomen. At 5:30 I felt like I had to take a huge poop. I told my nurse and she got things ready for me to start pushing. I started pushing at 5:50 and the nurse told me I'd probably be pushing for an hour before baby arrived. In my head I saw this as a challenge and so I pushed with all my might. I ended up pushing for 29 minutes and at 6:19 I became a mom.

The hospital policy was that I could only have two people in the delivery room with me when I had my baby. But I had Joe, my mom and my doula all with me. Joe and mom held my legs and my doula was at my head coaching me along. I was later told that the nurse let everyone stay because we made such a great team and she didn't want to break us up. It was really great to have such great support. I am so glad I got a doula because she was able to coach us all along and she helped Joe and my mom to know how best to help me. Even though the birth didn't go exactly as I would have liked, the experience was the best that it could be. And in the end I got a little girl like I wanted! 

And now, pictures!

Just a day old in the hospital

Bindi being Astrid's guard dog 

All smiles while getting burped!

Confessions of a Pregnant Girl - Final chapter???

*Note: I don't know why I didn't post this when I wrote it. Was going through my drafts and found this one unpublished, but finished! Let's blame the baby brain.

Well, it's down to the final stretch. (literally!!)

I hit 37 weeks this weekend and that means the little Bean is a full term baby. It can come any day without causing too much stress. Other than the standard, "holy crap you just pooped out a human, now what?" stress. omg, can someone pleeeaaaase make me a card that says that? Cassandra. I vote you.

Overall, I feel like pregnancy has been kind to me. Although I feel big, by everyone else's standards I am quite small. I can still squat down with relative ease. I've learned how to pee in a cup without getting it on my hands. My energy levels are pretty normal. And I've only had fat ankles once after a car ride home from Edmonton (knock on wood!).

To be honest, when I first found out I was pregnant, I think I was filled mostly with dread. Yes, Joe and I were trying to conceive a child, but I still wasn't quite ready to give up my life as I knew it. So when I saw the little blue lines that told me I was pregnant, I was scared to move on into the next big phase of my life that would last 18+ years. But as the baby has grown, so has my excitement to meet the little one. I can say I'm not dreading it any more. I do worry that I'll be overwhelmed and scared and exhausted, but I know that with God on my side, I can do this. We can do this.

Along with turning 37 weeks this weekend, I also went to my prenatal course which was basically all about what to expect when you're in labour and what to do with a newborn. While I was there I learned a fact that blew my mind. Did you know that when babies are born their stomachs are the size of a marble?? I had no idea their stomachs were so small. And then I realized something: My boobs have grown nearly twice their size in order to feed a tummy the size of a MARBLE!!?? How is that fair! And apparently my milk hasn't even come in so that means they're going to get EVEN BIGGER!! To feed a MARBLE!!! In what world does that make sense?? How on earth were my previously sized boobs not large enough to hold enough milk to fill a marble-sized stomach? Gah. Life is unfair.

Following through

I almost forgot!

In my last post I promised to post a picture of my Halloween costume that I wore for the party this past weekend. So here it is:

I went as Buddha. 

I knew I wanted to incorporate my pregnant belly into my costume seeing as I may not have it for another Halloween depending on when I get pregnant with my future babies. So I thought of a lot of different round things before I settled on this one. 

Here's the breakdown of my costume:

- red chinese silk robe (already had this, found at Catholic Charities years ago)

- flowy brown maternity capris (inherited from sister-in-law)

- nude coloured t-shirt (this was the only thing I had to buy! Value Village for 5$)

- gold silky sash (bought at Catholic Charities a while ago as a scarf)

- beady necklace (from Reitmans)

- big wooden hoopy earrrings (gift from a friend so I have no idea where they're from)

A few of my other ideas were a disco ball, the death star from star wars, and an M&M. I think I made the right decision. What do you think??

Confessions of a Pregnant Girl, part III

I am quite overdue for an update!

• I hit the 33 week mark today. For those who don't speak in weeks, that's about 7 and a half months. 
• I am definitely showing, but strangers still don't ask or touch unless I say something. I am getting more and more uncomfortable as I fight for space with my tiny human. While it's scary to think I have so little time left, I can't wait for it to be over so I can have my body back. 
• I found my first stretch marks a little over a month ago. At first there were just a few faint pink marks under my belly, but they are multiplying in number and getting darker. Oi. I'm sure they'll get even better by the end. 
• I used to think baby brain wasn't a real thing and that it was just an excuse for pregnant women to be airheads, but OH MY GOSH. It is real and it is awful. I feel so stupid sometimes! The other day, Joe needed the car for work, so he gave me a ride. On the way there I realized (or at least I thought I realized) I forgot to grab my phone on the way out. So I put the number for the clinic in Joe's phone in case he needed to get a hold of me. Then, the next morning I remembered I still needed to find my phone, so I called it. And where did I find it? In my work bag!! I had it with me all along!! I've been forgetful in the past, but it's so bad these days that every single time I go into another room to do something, I have to stop and think to remember what it was I went in there for. 
• I'm going to a Halloween party tonight and I am so excited for my costume. It's something I can only pull off because I'm pregnant so I'm pretty stoked about it. For the sake of keeping it a surprise, I'll post a picture of my costume tomorrow, but trust me, it's pretty stinking clever. 
• I have mastered the art of peeing in a cup and I must say, it makes my doctor visits so much smoother. Except my last one. I went in to collect my sample and I totally forgot to do it. I just did my business and got out. So I chugged my water bottle and had to collect it 10 minutes later. The nurse wasn't even mad because apparently, it happens all the time. Pregnant ladies are pathetic! Gah! Stupid baby brain... 
• Living in a city where people are just barely starting to get to know me has been nice while being pregnant. I've had like, zero people fondle my belly since I've started showing. But last weekend I went home for Thanksgiving and hands were everywhere! Obviously my family all wanted to cop a feel, but then there was church where all the ladies who raised me wanted to feel too. It wasn't too bad actually. It was fun to have my little sister feel when the baby was moving because I don't think she's ever gotten to feel a baby move while it's still inside. 
• Speaking of feeling the baby move - at my last doctor's appointment she told me I needed to start counting kicks and that I should feel baby move at least 10 times in an hour. That has not been a problem for this child at all! Sometimes I can get 10 kicks in 5 minutes! This is definitely a squrimer. It's still pretty funny when I'm trying to get Joseph to feel or see it move because he always looks away at the wrong moment. Last night he poked my belly and told baby to "Move!" and for some reason, he immediately looked away right after he poked it and baby made a big movement the second his eyes were off. When he turned back to look, he poked again and could feel that baby had shifted positions, but he'd totally missed it happening. 

Cari

(prompt: Start a story with the line "Everyone whispered about _______, but no one had the courage to talk to her.")

Everyone whispered about Cari, but no one had the courage to talk to her. The poor dear had chosen to wear a pretty white dress of all things.

Nathan had noticed it first; she'd gotten up to sharpen her pencil and that's when he saw it. It was small at first, but by the second period it had grown to the size of her hand.

Of course Nathan was your typical immature, grade 7 boy and while the female body had become quite attractive to him, its functions remained a dirty joke. As soon as he saw the tiny red flag he immediately pointed it out to the two boys he sat with who gasped and made their own crude comments about the little accident.

Only 5 minutes of class remained at that point, but Nathan and his gang easily spread the word to two-thirds of their classmates. Cari sat at the back with the other special kids so it was easy for her to miss the heated whispers flying around the room.

I was in the other third of the class, but I sat next to Nathan in second period so it wasn't long before I, too, was informed. I had yet to receive my first "gift", so I had no idea what Cari was going through. I wouldn't get to experience that part of a woman's life until the next year in grade 8. Thankfully I didn't have any incidents happen that were made public to my entire grade.

I wish the "gifted" girls would have sympathized with Cari, but alas, middle schoolers are cruel. Besides, Cari was not the kind of girl you made friends with. She was the kind of girl you pitied and joked about behind her back - or to her face if you were one of those kids.

So in second period when I was informed of Cari's incident, I did nothing. I just kept looking back at her table like Nathan and his buddies, waiting to see what would happen.

I saw the moment when she found the spot. At that point it had grown, so she had to bundle the once-white fabric in her hand as she went to the front of the room to ask the teacher's permission to go to the bathroom. At first she was told, "No. Class just started, you should have gone during break." But Cari then whispered the situation to the teacher at which point she was allowed to leave.

As soon as Cari left the room, the kids in the room who knew all started to giggle and fill in the others about what was going on. I don't remember what we learned that day in science class, but I do remember the awful feeling I had as the day continued.

The next time we saw Cari, we were returning to home room after second period. She was in a new set of clothes and sat at the foot of her locker with her arms wrapped around her knees. As we came into the hallway she lowered her head to hide her tears. Everyone avoided her as we walked by in the hall.

By the end of the day the whole grade 7 wing knew about what happened to Cari. One creative group of girls replaced Cari's name in the Bloody Mary chant saying that if you spun 3 times in front of a mirror repeating "Bloody Cari", when you stopped and looked in the mirror you would get your period.

Since I was an eye witness to the events, I told my side of the story to the friends not in my class. Eventually the whole thing blew over, but if Cari had any chance of escaping the social rejects group, it died along with her white dress that day.

Every once in a while I think of Cari and wonder what happened to her. I always feel bad for the way she was treated and even though I never did or said anything to her, I feel shame that I didn't show her some kindness. I often wish I'd had to courage to be a friend to kids like Cari. I wish I wasn't so worried about what the cool kids thought of me and I wish I'd done the right thing more often.

So to all the Caris out there, I'm sorry. While I wasn't the one who actually bullied you, I didn't do anything to stop it which is just as bad. I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to do the right thing and I'm sorry that my cowardice didn't make your life any brighter. I promise to teach my children to be kind and more importantly to stand up for others. It may not change what happened to the Caris of my generation, but hopefully my future kid can make someone's life a little brighter by being a friend to them and doing the right thing instead of the cool thing.

24

Yesterday was the 24th anniversary of the day I escaped my mother's womb.

Yes, I am 24 now.

It doesn't seem too different from 23. Especially since I spent most of my 23rd year thinking I was 24 anyway.

Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost every time someone asked how old I was, "24" always wanted to be my first response. Then I would correct myself and say, "oh wait, no, I'm 23"

My day yesterday was pretty good. Joe had to get up at 6 for work, so he got me up about 10 minutes later so he could give me my present. Apparently his gift wasn't to let me sleep in, but he got me some awesome books instead.

One book is called "642 Things to Write" which will be quite useful in getting me to get back to blogging about more than being pregnant (not that I've done a ton of that anyway!). And the other is a Q&A journal where everyday it asks you a question and you have a few lines to answer that question. What Joe didn't realize was that this was a couples journal where we both get to answer the question. He's not big into journalling so this shall be an interesting experience, ha. I made him answer yesterday's question at the breakfast table since it was such an appropriate question for how I've been feeling lately. The question was, "Do you feel at home in your body?"

Now, had you asked me that question 7 months ago I would have said, "yes! I love my body!". But these days it's difficult to say you're at home in your body when you have to battle with a tiny human for control of your bladder. Or when picking up an object off the ground requires a wide, awkward squat instead of a simple bennnd and snap! 

Sorry, I've gotten off track. This post isn't about being pregnant, it's about my birthday.

My day at work was good. My co-workers gave me an ice cream cake and a card and this cake is the most delicious ice cream cake I have ever had the pleasure of eating. I don't normally like ice cream cakes because they usually come from Dairy Queen and have way too much vanilla ice cream and not enough chocolate ice cream and cookie stuff. But this ice cream cake is awesome. It's made of two layers of actual cake lovingly sandwiching a middle layer of ice cream. The ice cream to cake ratio is perfect! Plus the cake part is chocolate so that's great.

After work Joe and I went to a new restaurant in town called The Sawmill. Just a heads up, if you plan on going to the Sawmill for your birthday to get a free birthday dessert, this is not the place to go. It's a nice restaurant, but it was definitely not worth the price. Joe's plate cost 30 bucks and he was still hungry after finishing it. I couldn't finish my meal, but even though I didn't really have a lot left, I couldn't justify not packing it up because we were going to be paying so much for it anyway. As for the free dessert, you have to have a loyalty card to get one and even if we had opted to get one that night, we still couldn't have gotten a free dessert. I thought it was pretty stingy of them. I ended up getting dessert anyway just because I had saved room for it by not stuffing myself with the last remaining bites of my entrée so, dangit, I was going to have dessert! I opted for one of the cheaper dessert items since it wasn't going to be free and it was delicious. I had the lemon tart with cream and fresh berries on the side.

Even though the Sawmill was disappointing, I got to go to dinner with my favourite guy and I didn't have to make my own meal or wash my dishes at the end of the night, so I was happy.